Why manga?
by Certainly-Not-A-Writer
Summary: He always asked himself this after she asked him advice on how to make one.  Until now it still disturbed him. May contain some OOC-ness. Rated T for language. First fanfic, please review!


**_Disclaimer: (Raises right hand with wooden starfish) I, (Whatever my pen name is now), solemnly swear that I do not own Clannad since it belongs to Key, Kyo Ani, and Toei (they made the movie, right?). Only the story and ideas presented in this fanfic are mine. No profit is being made by the author of this story._**

**_So help me starfish._**

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><p>Four o' clock in the morning. Youhei had woken to a cruel night sweat. He dreamt of things that disturbed him. He couldn't put his finger on what they are or what they were in relation with. The only thing that could tell him it was something bad was the churning feeling in his stomach and chest. It was like he did wrong, but that was impossible. No way he could have done such a thing. At least in his point of view.<p>

Here's the story. 

It was a peaceful day in school. He wa having dreams of contrived plans, beautiful dates and great possibilities. It felt really good. He wanted to set everything in motion now. He fely like standing up and dash wherever fate would take him. But his body saw to making them feel like they were glued to the shiny linoleum floor. He was lazy, after all.

Then someone disturbed his sleep. "Hey, wake up."

"Hmn...?" He moaned, trying to trying to get back to that dream he was having.

A girl's voice. "I have to tell you something..."

He shifted his blonde head to another side of his desk. "Yeh, g'wan..."

"I want to…"

"Yeh…? *groan*"

"Um, err… You see…"

"Yehh…?"

"I'm having some trouble with... Hey, are you even listening?"

"Uh-huh... Yeh, yeh..."

Something hard hit his face, and he flew off his chair. A few minutes later he recovered, sitting up like a zombie when everyone in the room thought him dead. He was seeing those twinkling stars in his eyes.

"What the hell was that for?"

There he saw it was her. 

Now let's see all of that in glorious not-as-vivid-as-film-but-may-suffice-since-this-is-a-fanfic slow motion:

First he screamed, "Ohhh, Craaaap…!"

Then when the fist hit, his whole jaw bent to one side.

Afterwards his tongue stuck out and he made a lot of funny faces that involved saliva flying everywhere.

At one point he was able to pick his nose with his pinky.

Finally, his head crashed into the metal cabinet with a bang that sounded like it was hit with a metal battering ram at 251 miles per hour.

Now let's go back to the scene. 

She was there, standing."Listen to me when I talk to you."

As he stood up, he felt his head. Was it hemorrhaging? "What the? I was listening!"

"Then what was I talking about?"

He made a thinking face, complete with holding his chin. "Uhhh... I, forgot?"

"Idiot."

He took his wooden seat. "Hey, I'm not an idiot."

"Yeah, you're not," she sat on the desk next to him. "You're brain dead."

He stood up and held his hips. "That's even worse!" Superimposition made him feel good about himself.

"Don't you get tired of standing up?" She was making a pushing motion with her hand. "Calm down and sit."

And its failure made him feel crappier than ever.

He slouched in his wood chair and faced her. "What is it?" He had a lot of time to kill anyway. "I'm busy and there a lot of other things I have to do."

"Like what," she gave her that lowbrow look. "hang out all alone somewhere like the loser you are?"

"Oh, if that's true then where?"

"The rooftop."

Shock! He gulped. "How did you know that?"

"Don't waste your time finding out."

"Okay," He asked, his heart trying to recover. "Now, what is it?"

She was silent for a while. It must be something really important. She looked at him with those sparkling Amethyst eyes.

"I... I want to say..."

His head felt heavy. Great. That smack gave him nausea now or whatever they call it. All that pain caused her words to become gibberish to his ears. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He could see his eyes wander past her shoulders. There were other students huddling together, whispering. Their shady glances told him the subject of their conversation.

_"Isn't that Fujibayashi...?"_

_"Yeah, what's she doing here...?"_

_"I dunno but, why is she talking to that guy?"_

One part wante to ignore it, the other part wanted to bask some heads. He tried regaining focus by shaking his head. Instead, it made shadows shift everywhere around his eyes like flies.

"... want to..."

Her voice. Wha?

"...I would love to..."

What are you saying?

"...I trust you'll make..."

Come again?.

"...we'll be like those characters in manga..."

Okay, this is not making sense anymore.

He couldn't really understand anything. It was total nonsense of sorts. And since he thought he had the luxury of increased brain power, he tried to piece together what she said.

_I would love to... No wait, I think it's 'I want to...'_

_...Make..._

_Make what?_

_...Manga._

_'I want to make a manga.' Yeah, That's it._

A ridiculous guess, even to him. But saying it was necessary.

"You're making a manga?"

She jarred to a halt. "...What?"

"I asked if you were making a manga."

Her eyes went from pretty happy to sorry in moments. What is it, was there something wrong in what he said? He worried, scrambling in his mind to think of something to cheer her up. But then, her whole face took on a pondering air,

"...Yeah, I... I want to make a manga."

"Are you joking?" He mouthed 'oh crap' as he saw her furious scowl. "Err- I meant, really?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Well then uh," He didn't know what his part in this was. "Does that mean I have to help?"

She folded her arms and shook her head. "No, no, no…" She threw her arms in the air. "Then why the hell did I come here for your advice in the first place, huh?"

"Okay I get it now, sheesh. Just, quiet down." He hissed, "The people are looking at you."

She looked over his shoulder and saw that all eyes were upon her. When they got a glimpse of her face though, they all shied away… in unison.

"So," He crossed his legs on his desk. "I'm gonna have to help you?"

"Did you know that in the time of the Romans there was a punishment where they would dangle your intestines like wiener sausages while you were still conscious?"

Such random stuff. "No."

"Would you like me to do that to you?"

Oh. Little waterfalls were falling down his eyes. "Please don't say such disturbing things like that while smiling."

"Then stop asking dumb questions!" She made a sigh. "I'm desperate, am I? Asking a person like you for advice…"

He put his legs down and stared at her with set brows. "Then go ask somebody else and let me go back to sleep in peace."

"That wouldn't be fun for me, wouldn't it?"

_You really love pestering me, don't you? _"Aw, forget you. I'm going back to sleep."

He buried his head in his desk and started making snoring sounds in a bid to make her go away. Not too much now.

"I knew you weren't interested from the start. Too bad."

The cogs were in motion. He knew what he had to do.

"Yeah, too bad." He was waving her away while he kissed the wood surface. "Now leave."

"Okay sure, I'll leave." She drew close to his ear. "But I did consider inviting you to have lunch with us if you gave me even the littlest piece of advice, though…"

_What?_

"I bet you haven't eaten lunch yet, judging by that roaring excuse for a stomach of yours. And actually, I think I cooked too much food at home." The hiss of a devil. "There's just no way that me and Ryou would be able to eat all those delicious pork cutlets by ourselves."

Did she thing that she could actually decieve him? He checked himself for the various prices of bread he memorized. He could just buy one in the shop and-

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that all the bread in the shop's sold out." She whispered, "There's not even An-pan left."

_No way!_

"Well, if you're not really interested then I understand. I'll just leave."

Plans were important but the stomach was a completely different matter. He heard her walking steps and his gut groan out 'Go after her, you idiot!'

His head sprouted. "W-wait!"

She was already at the door. "No, no. If you don't want to help me and get lunch then It's okay. Now you just go back to whatever you were doing earlier and I'll leave."

"Hey, don't!"

She looked back. "Why shouldn't I?"

"I'm…" His head slowly dipped down. "...I'm going to help you out."

"Why thank you, Youhei." She went back to the chair she sat on. "You look more handsome already."

He scratched the back of his head and smiled. "Gee, thanks…" After a while his face broke into pieces. "Hey, don't flatter me!"

She laughed, and looked at him. Now it's time for business. "So, you're going to help me now?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Just promise me you'll give me lunch, okay?" Brazen, but needed.

"Not only that," A hustler's smile came on her face. "I'll even think you're better than Tomoya."

_Better than... Okazaki? _

"Say no more." He gave a salute even though he knew nothing about writing manga. "Sunohara Youhei, mangaku extraordinaire at your service!"

"Wow," she clapped her hands. "You have experience at this?"

"Hell yeah, I do." He showed her his arm. "You see this? This became black and blue because of writing!"

He asked himself if writing could actually do such stuff to the human body.

"Ahahahahahaha! That's funny. I thought that arm became black and blue because of all the bruises you got from getting beaten up all the time."

"If you're going to flatter me then don't jab me in the end!"

"Ahahahaha! What's the fun in that?"

He muttered, "Screw you…"

"What did you say?"

He recoiled. "Guaah! N-nothing, nothing at all! What are you talking about?"

She looked around while clenching her fist. "I thought I heard something…"

He didn't want to die

"That was just your imagination!" He said, finding a way to change the subject. "Anyway, let's go back to your manga. There's a lot of stuff I can ask but first things first. What's it about?"

"Oh, that. Well…"

She held her chin and thought about it for a while. He didn't care about what she was thinking, though. His legs were too busy being shaken by dread due to what he got himself into.

She crinkled her eyes, thinking deeply. "It's kind of like… Sort of like… Erm, just wait."

She thought about it more. It seemed that she was either drudging it from deep memory or...

"Are you sure you're not thinking it up just now?"

She blushed. "No, you idiot."

"If we're gonna play 'make me wait until I get bored', I think you should make a rain check on that."

"I said wait, didn't I? And besides, I'm just... trying to remember it"

"Then hurry up with remembering already, sheesh."

After a while, she made a deep sigh, and muttered something he thought as 'ok'.

"It's... about love." She said with unusual seriousness. "A girl… she wants to confess to a boy that she loves him…"

"Wait a second." He put his hand up like a police officer. "Isn't love something that's… _strange_ for a person like you to tackle?"

"Hahah, very funny." She said with bitterness in her tongue. "So funny I forgot to laugh. Anyway, the story's about a girl who wants to confess her love. Bad thing is she can't do it because she's afraid that the guy was getting closer to another girl. She thinks that she shouldn't butt in if that was what he really wants. Yet, it crushes her deep inside."

_Ain't that a great story…_

He raised a finger. But before a letter escaped his mouth, she spoke.

"So, is it good?"

"Well, I dunno." He scratched the back of his head. "It sounds pretty… generic, I think."

"Generic?"

She was now strangling him.

"Hey, aren't writers supposed to be open to criticism? *cough* Stop!"

She let go, and he straightened his collar. He choked for a while, and in the end she gave a smile.

"Next time, make sure you submit your suggestions in writing so you would be sure you're not here to get killed when I read them."

"Then what's the point of asking me here in the first place?" He folded his arms and looked away. "Even you're an idiot."

"At least I'm not as dumb as you are."

"Idiot."

"Idiot."

He looked back at her. "Idiot."

"Total idiot."

"Dimwit!"

"Numbskull!"

"Birdbrain!"

"Dumbass!"

The insults were thrown back and forth while they screamed closer and closer at each other's throats. They thought it would get them an extra insult power-up if they did.

His teeth were showing. "Moron!"

Her hair flew back. "Retard!"

By the time the insults came out of their mouths, a small crowd was watching as the uber-popular Fujibayashi Kyou shouted her throat out at a complete nobody.

And a few moments later and Bang! Silence. The two ran out of things to say. With the factors of his limited vocabulary and her total embarrassment at the fact that people were watching their idiocy, they decided to stop.

He swallowed. "*cough* This is not going anywhere, is it?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I think we should continue on with the story now…"

He pointed behind her. "The crowd."

She looked back, mouthed an 'Oh', and stood up. Before the little hamster wheel in his brain could comprehend the situation, she had already stormed the audience out of the room. Wise on their part. If they stayed there they would've faced the spawn of horror that was her ire.

"Now that's been taken care of," She dusted her hands. "go ask me about the story. Anything at all."

"You won't kill me if I do?"

"It depends on my mood."

"Okay," He bit his lower lip. "I can't make comments about your story since I, too, fear for my life. So instead I'll just ask you about the character so I can make, what's the word… _judgments_ about it." His body suddenly shook. "Oooh, I like saying big words like that."

"Ask."

"First question," he started. "What's the girl like? Is she pretty or ugly, dumb or smart, decent or total weirdo, what?"

"Well…" Her eyes roll around. "I'm not too sure about that."

He buried his head in his wood desk. "That's it, I'm going back to sleep."

"If you do, I'll make it permanent."

He jolted up his desk with a big grin. "Who's sleeping? No one's sleeping! Me, sleep? Pfffttt… Hah, that's nonsense! Why would I sleep? The day's bright and everyone's still awak-" He made those pitiful eyes. "Please don't kill me."

"That's what I thought you said." She paused. "Anyway, I think I get it now."

"Okay, good. Tell me."

"First of all, she's beautiful…"

"What else?"

"She's popular…"

"What else…?" He slowly pictured the character as a person he knew.

"She's also very talented. Frankly, she can give anyone in the judo club a run for their money."

"Yeah, and she can fell a person in 0.3 seconds with a hardbound dictionay..."

"Shut up."

He muttered, "Modeling your character after yourself… Aren't you self-centered."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Okay, what else do you want to ask me?"

"Hmmm… It's hard since my questions are a bit limited." His brows rose up. "I got it. What are your character's… traits? Like, how does she act?"

"The girl's a bit, _hyperactive_. She overdoes things so she can get what she wants."

"Go on."

"She's also a bit overprotective of those important to her."

"Up to the point she would kill anyone who breathes next to her relatives?"

"One word: No."

He yawned. "I'm getting sleepy. Anything else?"

"Also, she's a bit obsessed about the guy. Her whole closet's filled to the brim with snapshots of him, you know.

She was getting a bit eloquent

"Wow," He put his elbow on his desk and put his chin on his hand. "That's a bit weird."

She looked away. "Yeah…"

"I wish I had someone who would love me that much."

Her head snapped towards him. "Really?"

"Yeah."

She stared down. "… Would you like to?"

He looked at her. "What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head. "Just talking to myself."

He wanted to go on with the second question, nervous that the subject now might drift somewhere very uncomfortable. She cut him off, though.

"But… I think that would feel good, right? When you know that someone's devoted to you…"

"Yeah. It feels real good when you know someone cares about you." He smiled. "Everyone wants to be loved. That includes me. That's why I like that kind of feeling."

"Well I, uh… me too."

He swerves close to her face with that grin of his. "_Really_ now?"

"Idiot. Of course, I also want someone who thinks of me." She pushed his face away. She could feel his breathing.

"There's your sister, right?"

"Well, yeah but..." She made a sort of frown. "I want someone who's... devoted to me."

"For me, that'll be too much. Something a little bit less would be more than fine."

"Then uh, someone who cherishes you?"

He pointed at her. "There we go. That's the word I've been looking for. Someone who would cherish me for who I am." He reclined on his chair. "I'm such a dreamer, am I? There's no way someone would cherish a loser like me. Finding someone like that's impossible."

He stopped, asking himself why he was imparting such stuff to her. Was it because he wanted someone to share his feelings with? A confidant of sorts? Is he trying to make one out of Kyou? Before he could say a word though, she cut him off as always.

"Chin up."

He shifted his face towards the ceiling.

"No you dunce. I said chin up, don't give in. You'll find that person, no sweat. You're not really that much of a loser so that search of yours will be easier than you think. She's out there. I know it."

He didn't get the last part since she lowered her voice. "You… don't think I'm a loser?"

"Yes, I regard you much highly." She smiled. "You're my personal lapdog, right?"

He muttered through his teeth. "Gee, thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Now where was I… oh yeah, the character. Well, since she's like that, I guess…"

He thought about it for a while. Then he started scratching his head with both hands like it was infested with dandruff. "Gahhh… It's hard tackling it this way!"

"Why were you asking about the character if you don't even know how to use all the info I tell you?"

"I just wanted to look professional, okay?"

"You truly are an idiot."

"Okay, how about I ask you about… aha."

"What is it?"

He said. "Why is your lead a martyr anyway?"

He got the 'martyr' word from a radio soap he used to listen to. It sounded cool so he wanted to use it.

She gasped a bit. That question caught her off guard, a rare moment for a person such as her.

"That's because… she really loves the guy" She looked away. "She loves him so much that if he disappeared from her life she wouldn't know what to do. Like that."

"And what if the guy doesn't like her in the first place?"

From a serious one, her face became a shattered blank. "Are you saying… that the guy doesn't like her at all?"

He shrugged. "You're the one who wrote it so how should I know?"

"O-oh yeah, right." She shook herself. "I must've gotten carried away there. So what?"

He raised a brow. "What's what?"

"What should the girl do?"

He didn't know anything about love, nothing at all. He never had a girlfriend since birth (He even made an acronym for it: N.G.S.B.) so how could she expect answers from him?

"What kind of answer do you want, something that only happens in manga, or something realistic?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Any answer would do."

"Then the lead should come in with guns blazing and shouting 'you bastard!' while feeding the guy a thousand, no, a million bullets!" He flung his arms in the air. "Then it should have lots of fiery explosions and end in some epic sword duel to the death! You know, something like that."

The lowbrow look again. "I don't know what to say anymore."

"You said any answer's fine, right?"

"At least give me a decent one."

"Okay, okay…" he held his chin to think."Does the guy like the girl?"

She answered quickly, "The girl doesn't know if her likes her or not."

He shook his head. "No, no, what I'm asking if the guy likes the girl. You know, from his 'point of view' or whatever you call it."

She bit her lower lip. "He… has a lukewarm feeling for her. And the girl thinks he's annoyed at her from time to time."

"So the guy doesn't like her at all?"

She gave a deep nod. "Probably."

He thought about it for a while. He had a solution.

"Then there's your answer."

She raised her head to attention. "Huh?"

"The girl should give up." He said. "She's going to end up killing herself if she stresses over that guy. How long has it been anyway?"

"H-how long what?"

"Her crush on him."

"A year."

"Look at that, a year and still no cigar." What an analogy. "She should give up."

"But," Her eyes became rather wistful. "what if she thinks of him every day?"

"Even more so, with every minute she thinks of him she can't be sure if the guy's even thinking of her. Maybe he's thinking of other girls, or he's not thinking about girls at all," His eyes widen. "Or maybe he's thinking of men..."

That last bit seemed to disturb him. But he was able to shake it off and continue.

"Anyway, she should go find someone else who would lover her, not buzz around some jerkass who's blind to what she's feeling. A real man should be able to sense if someone loves him. Love comes once and should never be ignored! And it gives a happy ending because she'll finally be in the arms of a man who really loves her."

It was silent after that. He saw her face after what he said and judging from the deep eyes and visible frown it was either she didn't 'get what she wanted' or she 'got what she wanted but it wasn't what she expected'. He didn't care that much, though.

It was just for a manga anyway.

She finally spoke. "Thanks, Youhei."

"Don't mention it." He reclined on his chair. "Just helping out, that's all."

She was going to leave through the door when he called her.

"Hey, Kyou, good luck with that manga of yours. Make sure I'll be the first one to read it, okay?"

She gave a sort of melancholy smile. "Sure."

"Oh yeah, forget about the lunch, okay?" He bent his arm like all those musclemen do. "That piece of advice is on the house."

When she left through the door, it was not Kyou's eyes he saw. It was of another persona. They were pools of Amethyst that were far away, reservoirs of grief and even sorrow.

_She's probably pissed at me not giving her a good answer._

He held the 'cool guy' pose until she left through the door. Then he collapsed, crashing onto his desk with a great sigh. Finally, he thought.

He got to act KOOL in front of Kyou.

Giving her help, making her laugh, not accepting her lunch. That was pretty fricking cool, right?

Holy shit, he acted cool in front of Kyou. Would she like him now? The answer to that was certainly a 'No'. But at least did her opinion of him become higher? For all he cared, this was a good sign. He thanked the great Buddha and all the gods in the sky. He swore to spend the whole weekend praying in shrines.

It won't be long until he's able to ask her out on a date.

"Thank you, Nagisa-chan!" He shouted. All eyes in the room fell on him for saying such random stuff. He didn't care.

This wouldn't have happened without her advice. Sure, he didn't listen to almost ninety-nine percent of it in the five days he spent trailing her, but he did get the 'act calm and be comfortable part' (That means 'act cool and be hard-ass cold', right?). His plan worked and now he was one step closer to his dream.

When he sat back on his chair, he pondered on why she asked him for manga? He didn't know, and he was having second thoughts about caring. Whatever the reason, it may just be an act of impulse. That was Kyou after all, a feisty and impulsive girl, someone who always tries to look strong, someone who pushes on with things even though they were neither practical nor sensible.

Those were the very reasons why he fell in love.

_I wish I can be as strong as her._

In that moony state of mind, he buried his head in his desk. He continued daydreaming about a date he and Kyou would be on one day. 

And that was all that happened. He couldn't have imagined it. It was the truth. Nothing more, nothing less. The plan was perfect. He wanted to know why she started avoiding him after that. He didn't do anything bad, right?

It felt like he missed something very important. What exactly? Would he ever know? It was like he was in one of those sci-fi novels where the main character forgets a fragment of his memory. Exciting stuff. He started flinging his imagination somewhere faraway again and he slept in his dark and dank dorm room, purposely letting whatever he was thinking slip out of his mind.

He would've dismissed it as another trivial thing that could have happened any day. But had he only known of what happened after that meeting…

A few hours later, a girl came out of the female restroom. Her face was dreary, her eyes were tinged with red, and the sleeves of her cream-colored school blouse were wet. In her hand was a snapshot of a boy with blonde hair looking off a rooftop she took a month ago. She tore it into pieces then those pieces into pieces, threw them in a rubbish bin, and left, regretting why she even asked him that way in the first place.

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><p><strong><em>Thanks for reading and please review! Your comments and suggestions are very important and it will help me make my writing (and my English) better. Thank you very much!<em>**


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